Someone once told me that only children (children with no siblings) grow up to be very weird and, as they put it, "pretty effed up". They claimed that only children aren't nearly as social as children with siblings, don't make as many friends, are more prone to clinical depression, and become recluses/solitary people.
Well I beg to differ!!!!
Let me start off by saying that I do have a brother and sister. However, they are my half siblings and when I was born, my brother was in his graduating year of his out-of-state college and my sister was in college as well. So I have always lived with just my mom, dad, and family pet (we've had three so far.) Of course, I've met my siblings and we've visited each other, but I did not grow up with them. Technically, I am not an only child but I have grown up as one and there are plenty of things I have not experienced that a child with siblings would have.
Lets get the bad stuff out of the way first. There are some things that I wish I could have experienced/gone through had I not been an only child.
1) Sharing
Okay, I know how to share! However, I never had the brother or sister that wanted to play with my toys, wear my clothes, or just plain take my stuff without even asking. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people take your food without asking...for example, you're eating lunch with your friends and one of them, while reaching over to your plate says, "Can I have a fry? Thanks," and just takes it. I don't know if it's normal or not, but it drives the CRAP out of me. I become furious. Can't you legitimately ASK?! From what my friends with brothers and/or sisters tell me, they went through the typical phase where their sibling would just take their stuff. My best friend has a brother who's only a year apart. She's so used to giving half of what she has and it always amazes me. This isn't meant to be snobby at ALL, but I'd be pissed if I couldn't finish off the leftovers because my brother hasn't eaten yet, or I couldn't play video games in the family room because my sister doesn't want the light from the TV to shine under her door. I feel like if I had a sibling at or around my age, I wouldn't be so bitchy and have a much higher tolerance for someone just reaching over and taking my food. (I still think it's rude though, no matter what.)
2) Always Having Someone there to Talk to
To me it feels like lots of siblings (lots, but not all of course) really have deep connections with each other and can tell each other anything. I love my brother and sister, but we never really had that deep connection. That's not to say we're estranged, we just didn't grow up together and they're much older than me. I have a best friend who I can tell pretty much everything to, but your best friend isn't int the same house with you. They don't have the same parents. They don't have the same family members who have problems. A lot of times, I wish I had a brother or sister I could go to and just let everything out to. The only person who knows your parents just as much as you do are, of course, your parents, their parents, your siblings, and their siblings. I wish I could have had that sibling to just go to and say, "Man, Dad was being so moody today like always..." or something like that.
3) The Defender
It's classic....the younger brother or sister is getting bullied at school or whatever and their older sibling comes to their defense. "Don't pick on my brother/sister!...that's my job." Sure, not all siblings do this, but I believe that it's natural to want to stick up for someone you care about. My life wasn't hell, but there were tons of times at school where I just wish someone could have stuck up for me.
4) Adjusting to Lack of Privacy
I live in the dorms now. People just stroll in and out of here. There are noises at all hours of the day. AND IT DRIVES ME NUTS! Has anyone ever heard of peace and quiet, or privacy for that matter?! I often feel that if I had a sibling who always came in and out of my room, I'd be used to people running around, having people over, or making noise. This can go with the "recluse" comment I was told. I am definitely not a recluse, but my privacy ranks right up their with my morals, religious views, political views, and outlook on life!! It's very important to me! As an only child, I had my privacy. But now, I don't know how to handle a life without privacy!
5) No Travel Companion
I love going on vacation with my family, but I often find myself wishing I could bring a friend, or have a brother or sister there to talk to. Whenever I did some exploring while on vacation, it was always with my parents or by myself; and I was limited to where I could go by myself anyway. There wasn't anyone to make inside jokes with. No one to watch that dumb airplane movie with.
Though there are things I wish I could have had by having a sibling and/or siblings, there are plenty of things I am thankful for by NOT having one!
1) No Competition
My parents couldn't really compare me to my brother and sister because times were different in the 70s and 80s hahaha. They didn't take the same path I did. So thank GOD there was never the 4.0 sibling who made my 3.2 look like garbage. I didn't have to put up with a sibling in the same extra-curricular activities as me. There was never any, "Well Miranda's brother is first chair in band but she's last," or, "Miranda's sister is on Varsity but Miranda didn't even make the cut." I never gave less effort because I didn't have any at home competition. I was still motivated by other students to get better at what I did, but I never had to compete with a sibling.
2) Never Starving for Attention
I never had to do stupid things to get my parents attention or affection. I would guess that a lot of siblings may go through that, especially if it's a family with more than two children. My parents were always there when I needed them. When I was sick, they weren't busy helping another sibling. Again, NO snobbiness intended, but I'm glad I didn't have to stupid things or push myself too hard just to get their attention.
3) Privacy
Though dealing with no privacy is a problem now, I'm glad I had a ton of time to myself at home. I do my best thinking in my room and I was able to expand on my writing, poetry, music, and drawing without someone busting in. I could think to myself and truly regard my room as a safe and comforting place.
4) No Sassy Sister or Bullying Brother
I never had to deal with the typical bitchy sister. Never told what to do, talked down to, or whined about. And I never had to put up with the brother who would give knuckle sandwiches, noogies, or pushes down the stairs.
5) The Physically Flawless Sibling
I am self conscious and an easily embarrassed person. I don't know how the hell I would've gotten by if I had a sibling at or close to my age who was a gorgeous or handsome person. Always coming home with a boyfriend or girlfriend, Homecoming/Prom king/queen, prettiest person superlative...you know the stuff. And even better, I never had to be compared to them in that sense. "Miranda's sister is TOTALLY hot but she didn't come out so nice..." or, "Miranda's brother is such a cutie. Too bad Miranda didn't get the same deal." That would crush me.
6) No "Dumbass Friends" Coming Over
I never had to put up with a siblings' stupid friends. No late night parties, no random people barging in....it also goes along with the whole privacy thing I guess. And I never had to be the subject of my siblings and their friends pranks.
Sometimes I wish I had a sibling close to or at my age. Sometimes I'm glad I don't. But either way, I wouldn't say I'm "effed up." I have friends. I have darn good social skills. Even though I like to spend time alone, I am not a recluse and enjoy going out. I am not clinically depressed. What about you? Do you think only children are weird? Are you an only child who likes the way things are or do you wish you had other siblings? Do you have siblings and wish you didn't, or are you glad you have siblings?
Joanna_said_SO
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